Thursday, December 22, 2005
Here I am. Sitting in the cold library again.
Listening to Dum Diddly. N updating my blog. N donno wat to write.
Lotsa things happen as usual. It's raining heavily.. Best!! But i still hav to study. Coz tomolo got One more paper.. Before i can HOOORAYYYY!! one whole week of exam can traumatise me man!
Today was HPI. N i was really desperate searching at evry corner of my freaking brain, racking it till it bled i think, for reasonable answers. oH man.. lepas HPI jek tros trauma melanda jiwa seh......
i WANNa watch NARNIA!! nvm. tomolo. wit who? donno.. haiz...
i miss going out wit ma gurlfwenz. ntah eh. i feel different. Like.. it's my fault coz i dont hav the time to go out wit them.. n i feel so guilty coz i cant go out wit them. n dat i juz wanna blame myself for it. n i hate myself for not going out wit them. n i know im talking nonsense.
Its the rain.
That open up old wounds.
The rain.
A form of rahmat from Allah s.w.t..
The rain.
That cleans earth from dirt, hatred, all bad things once again.
Its the rain.
That makes me sleepy dat i feel i wanna sleep here man......
Hhahahahahha,....
ORITE. im fine. im not fine. I miss my paps though he's actually at home wit me oredi. i miss myself.. always up to mischief.. i miss him.. but he seems so far away. or is it me? am i going far away from my family? yes. why? coz i see dat they are so happy without me.. they went overseas, left me alone wit mom. n they came back, full of stories.. like it didnt bother them watever happened at home for the 2 weeks they went to jakarta.
n i felt like one idiot, coz i kept on calling them. n now, it hurts coz im hurt n dat im bottling up evrytink waiting for myself to xplode. n i keep on smiling n laughing like no one's business.
life is great. when u have faith in God. n u know wat? i have faith in Him. Dat's why i can smile.
1:00 PM
