Saturday, September 17, 2005
Today. It's fazzy's bdae. Me, nussie, her boifwen n his fwen celebrated Fazzy's bdae. We ate chocolate cake. 2 slices made me full already.
Today. I went home. Once again. Im alone..
My bros are bz wit their daily routine. I didnt want to disturb them. But I cant stand it. I cried.
Today. I cried. Yesterday. I cried. The day before yesterday, I cried. Juz how many times I have to cry.. I donno.
Today. Yesterday. I am afraid. I was afraid.
Am I myself? No. I cant think straight. I feel divided. I feel different. I feel. Funny. Weird. Weirder. Today.
Juz who exactly am I?
Am I lost? Who are these people around me? Why am I here? How do they know me? No. I know them. Right? Yes. I know them.
But why do I feel like this.. So lonely. So quiet. So weird.
I am acting like a child. My bro said that. I realised that. Juz who exactly am I?
A child, a teen or an adult? Why are they in me? Who are they exactly..
Today. I am alone. As usual. Often. Always.
No one was beside me. To cry with me. Not even my paps. Juz who exactly am I? Juz where exactly do I stand? And why am I here? How do I end up being here?
Why did I cry? Why am I feeling this pain in my chest? Like a burden, pressing hard on me. Why this pain? In my head. Like a knife, driven deep into my skull, piercing my brain. What have I done? So many sins I have done. Is this a punishment?
Am I losing my mind? No.. Please.
My heart. It is dead. Please dont take away my mind. It's the only thing alive. Inside my head. It's the only thing. That makes me stay alive.
Am I going to die?
Why do I feel weird?
Who am I?
11:24 AM
