Tuesday, September 13, 2005
My sis is in love.. reminds me of myself.. juz that im worried that she'll get hurt like i was..

I dont her to get hurt.. but this is love. Love. is something unexpected and expected. when u love, u want that person to love u back. but, it juz didnt turn that way.. n when that person dont love u back, u'll feel hurt. so darn hurt that u cant even xplain it in words. only tears. tears that fall to show how hurt u are..

i have felt that. i experienced that. i dont want her to experience it like the way i did. but i am sure, time will come and she'll find the guy that will love her truly..

for me..

my heart is dead. totally. it's juz dat. i donno whether i can love anybody already. i can. but. i donno whether i do deserve to love them.

why is it? for years. this has been the major problem that i have to face. of all problems, why this? and i dont understand why, in this house. i cannot be accepted. for who i am. why i cant juz be myself, and do what my heart tells me to.. why do i hav to make them happy, and i myself suffer at the same time.. cant they juz tell that i am getting sick and tired of all these things that have been happening so far..

sometimes i juz feel that.. why love, when u are already unloved by humans whom you love so much.. and that God is always there to love you.. and isnt it enuf for you to hang on n continue to live.. as long as He's by ur side. u'll be safe..

on second thoughts, who can live without love? that i must salute.. whoever they are..

they muz hav that strength..

for me.. i juz dont hav that strength..

i juz dont..

i donno whether i still hav feelings for him.. right now.. i feel indifferent.
3:15 PM