Thursday, August 25, 2005
Going crazy is sometink normal for me.. doing silly things, acting like one retarded gurl n making all lame n freaky jokes.. they are juz me..
why? is it coz i wanna forget bout someone.. or is it coz im too stressed with my new profound love? hahahahaha,.... exams do have impact on me i guess..
I cant believe exams is around the corner... juz one more week to revise n boom! the papers will be right in front of me before i can even breathe peacefully.. man.. this is only exam and i make it sound like im about to face a war or sumtink..
haiz.. im scared actually.. neva have been this stressed before.. maybe coz of the pressure that im facing.. i was the o ne who took the 'brave' step to enter poly from jc.. i was the one who convinced paps that i could do so much better in poly.. i was the one who had to struggle not to argue or be slashed all the moment by mom...
it was i who made the decision.. so... i should do well..
n yesh.. im so much happier here.. why? coz i found my new love.. im in love wit myself, myself, my studies.. my life...
even though darkness still encircle my life.. i can see a light ahead.. there.. at the end of the tunnel.. can i breathe still? will my heart ever recover from the shredding?
when is it..
That i could breathe as per normal..
When will it be..
Where i can juz be myself..
and strive for wat i've dreamt for.
Love..
What is that thing..
why did it exist?
how can it exist...
Love..
brings pain..
brings wonders..
brings darkness..
brings light..
tortured i am..
abused are my feelings
torn.. my heart is..
shredded to pieces..
fragmented..
bleeding..
scarred for life..
can i ever recover from the fear of being in love? will i ever get to love? do i deserve to love someone? or do i deserved to be loved?
3:21 AM