Thursday, July 28, 2005
i did write juz now.. dont know wat the hell is wrong with the blogger.. not only blogger.. msn n fwenster too.. haiz... advanced technology isnt that cool anymore.. to handle this kind of things require much patience sia.... woah.... lucky i've learned to control my bloody temper b4 this laptop of mine kena killed.. hahahahaha exaggerating as usual....
i wore white today.. as in wholly white... haha.. such a contrast to my taste.. i love black.. but i was wearing the opposite.. kinda cool.. coz i did try sometink different today...
oh wait... im listening to cinta tragika or watever.. dont bother with the spelling actually.. haha.. my nose's running.. im scared to take ma medcine.. sick... i have to get some rest.. b4 anything happen.. i dont wanna fail again... hehehehe... enuf experience with that already... it was tough yesh... but now... im on the ball again baby!! wooohhhhhhhh... watch out for me.. wakakakakak... i think it's effect from me being sick ah... my head's spinning.. my nose is running with mucus n wet stuff.. my eyes are dry and red... my body's weak... man... i am sick again.. aiyoh.. i guess i cant overwork lah.. it'll affect evrything that i wanna do.. i keep on forgetting that im weak actually... haizzzz..... hahahaha
nah.. God loves me that's why He tests me.. see... always look on the positive side of life......
actually... cant stop thinking of him.. even though how much i tried... i still keep on thinking of him... haha.. waste of time rite... nuthink beta to do.. skali his face comes into ma mind... oh man... i feel like piercing my heart with the sharpest knife ever so as to end this sickening feeling...
if only he's here rite now with me to listen to the ranting of my heart...... if only i could spend some time alone wit him and shower him wit care and concern... if only i can regain my confidence in love.... haiz... i know i cant... n will never gain the confidence back... so much pain... i was so damn freaking hurt.. n no one seem to know... or heard my screams.... how sad....
i dont wanna fall in love.. or even be in love.. it's so scary... God loves me... N i love Him... dat's more than enuf.... cant believe it man.. why the hell did he appear in my life when i was about to start anew?? why this feeling again?? haha... love love love... never love or hate too much... there's a saying to that... i guess it's true... if u love too much, it'll hurt u eventually... if u hate too much, it'll kill u eventually...
to be on the safe side... juz keep reminding urself that u r truly loved by God.. n that He's always wit u no matter where, what... how.. when... all those times.. He's always there.. it's juz us.........
n now... i wanna study... nah.. i guess i wanna rest.... cant force myself.. if i push myself further... i cant concentrate n nothing will go in.. how dumb.. hehehe
nitey nitez... may the darkness gives u such beautiful dreams that u never wanna end it...
3:10 PM