Thursday, July 21, 2005
The beauty of darkness
Crawling into every corner of the room..
Listen to the whispers..
Be soothed to the screams..
Hear my heart tremble..
As the unseen approaches..
Groping, stretching..
Reaching to pull me away..
Fallen I am..
Engulfed by the darkness..
In love with the beauty..
Of the heart ranting..
A red rose for my love..
a black one for my death..
Struggling, strangled..
Pain creeping and seeping..
Into every cell of my blood..
Hidden beneath the shadows..
I moved..
Sauntering closer..
Heartbeat drumming in my ears..
Ever slowly..
I slipped past the shadows..
Unknowingly conquered by an unknown fear..
Fear gripped at my heart..
Rushing adrenaline..
Blurring my sight..
My body swayed..
My temple's hurting..
My throat's burning..
Darkness reigns..
Closing me in..
Killing me ever so slowly..
I am so afraid to lose him.. so damn freaking afraid.. my thoughts with him only bring about such happiness dat i have neva ever felt before.. such times, such strong feelings.. is this love?? nah.. it's juz bullshit.. he can neva accept my love.. tat i am sure of..
for me.. my heart.. it's been broken and smashed to pieces.. and it'll take time to regain it's shape.. even if it goes back to normal, the scar is still there.. n it will always bleed..
why are u so afraid of the past? why muz u tink of the past when it only gives u pain? throw them away.. wash ur sorrows away.. dont let the sorrows wash u away from love.. hatred is normal.. love is extraordinary.. it comes so suddenly.. n it'll be gone if u dont grip it.. how threatening love can be.. so strong.. ever so strong.. stronger n more cruel than hatred itself.. do u believe me?? i dont believe it myself..
such complicated games.. so confusing.. which is which i dont know.. my mind says forget bout it.. my heart whispers.. i'm beginning to fall for him.. or am i?? will he ever accept me..
gosh.. i'm sick.. all these late nights.. n that thing that me n kyn want.. we'll give our lives for it i guess. hahakz.. such commitment... wen will i ever find a guy who will juz love the me than the not me??
i know u r out there somewhere... God has created u for me.. n me for u.. all i have to do is wait.. n try to push the past behind... the past that neva fails to haunt me.. every nite.. every breath.. every beat of my life... such nightmare.. such catastrophe.. worse than a catastrophe...
haiz... i better get some sleep... b4 i get washed away myself..
1:33 AM